In our relationships, whether it be with a spouse, a co-worker, someone we coach or mentor, have you ever caught yourself saying something in such a way that you can just tell that the other party is not taking what you’ve said the way you intended? Have you ever stopped to think it may be because of the way you are saying it? I know I have, and that is something that I consciously try to think about when I am trying to make a point to someone at a time in which I may be frustrated or upset for some reason. This is something we should all think about when we are interacting with others. Am I saying this in such a way that they will listen and absorb what I am saying, or has my tone or demeanor put them on defense or shutdown mode.
Welcome back my friends for Episode 6 of the Derate The Hate Podcast. Wilk here from WilksWorld.com and today I’m talking about yelling and more specifically, about the idea that yelling means you’ve already lost the argument. Lot’s of people talk about how yelling is ineffective and the damage that is done to the other person when it comes to yelling. Like many things I speak about, I look at the loss of control aspect of yelling and the idea that if we reach the point of yelling, we’ve lost self control, we’ve lost our ability to control our emotions and ultimately lost our ability to effectively use logic and reason to make our point. At this point it’s time to walk away and let things cool down before things are said that cannot be taken back. At a time when domestic violence calls are increasing daily due to the lock downs associated with the Covid-19 crisis, this episode might be something someone needs to hear to keep calm when things are getting a bit tense.
I also give a shout out to a family in Happy Valley, OR that went the extra mile to put flags on the graves of our brave men and women who were lost in battle, men and women who’s graves at Willamette National Cemetery could not be visited this Memorial Day due to the response to the Covid-19 crisis. That feel good story can be seen here.
Things are rough out there with the virus, the lock-downs and all the associated mental, physical and financial fallout associated with these battles. Just remember, we cannot control what happens to us, but we have to control how we react to it. When you can get out among each other again, be kind to one another, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and remember that it’s up to you to make each and every day the day you want it to be.