Episode 12: Be Proactive, Be Responsible

Welcome back my friends for Episode 12 of the Derate the Hate podcast. Episode 12 will be the start of a series of episodes dedicated to the book by Dr. Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I am Wilk from WilksWorld.com, and every thing I do with this podcast is done with the intention of Bettering the World, One Attitude at a Time.
Bettering the world begins with bettering one’s self, and I truly would not be who I am or have the life I do without having read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
In this episode, I discuss the first of the seven habits, Be Proactive. Being proactive comes with maturity and the ability to be responsible. Dr. Covey explains “responsible” in a bit of a different way than most people think of the definition, he breaks it down in to two parts. Being able to effectively choose your response to whatever life throws at you. Once you become “able” to “respond” effectively in a mature way, you are on your way to being proactive and making mature, value based decisions.
Like much of what I talk about in the Derate The Hate podcast, being able to make mature, value based logical decisions works out far better in most all scenarios than emotion based reactions. One’s life is largely based on the actions and decisions they make, not the actions of others as some would have you believe. When someone is constantly told they are a victim or somehow oppressed, they begin to feel powerless and fall in to a toxic cycle of not trying, or ignoring opportunities to better their lot in life. Being proactive is taking back the power, coming to the realization that being able to choose how to respond to things out of your control is the ultimate power, and that is what leads to a positive and happy life. A negative determinism in one’s life does not constitute a life sentence when one becomes proactive and responsible.
As I say at the close of every episode, it is up to you to make each and every day the day that you want it to be. This statement is very true and it all begins with becoming Proactive and Responsible.
Join us next week when we dive in to habit 2 of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Dr. Stephen Covey. Please subscribe wherever you get your audio and podcasts and spread the word, share us with your friends. Until next week, this is Wilk saying thank you very much and have a great week!

Episode 11: Virtue Signaling, Privilege and Cancel Culture

Welcome back my friends for Episode 11 of the Derate the Hate podcast! With all the chaos and civil unrest our country is currently facing, what would a podcast about turning down the hate be if we didn’t discuss the matter. I’m Wilk from WilksWorld.com, and I’m not going to get in to a lot of specifics here in this particular episode, as each of these topics could most certainly warrant their own, but today I am going to talk about Virtue Signaling, Privilege and Cancel Culture.
As defined by Oxford Languages, Virtue Signaling means “The action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one’s good character or the moral correctness of one’s position on a particular issue” and there are many right now that feel the need to jump and run to the nearest camera or microphone to say something or perform some symbolic act to prove what a great person &/or company they are, and is this really helpful? Some of what we are seeing is way over the top, and pandering needs to be called out for pandering.
My podcast is geared towards and meant to create a dialogue, a constructive conversation between those of differing opinions in an effort to help one another better understand each other and take down the hate between people of differing opinions. It is my opinion that accusing all white people of privilege, or assuming all whites are racist, is in and of itself a racist concept. I was born to a poor couple in northwest Iowa and remained poor throughout my childhood. My greatest privilege growing up, and to this very day, is the fact that I was born to married parents who remained married and raised my sisters and me, all the while together until my father passed away. That privilege has nothing to do with skin color, but that structure and the values the bestowed upon me helped me become the man I am today.
Anyone with a sane mind and eyes can see that the cancel culture we are currently experiencing is very toxic and must come to an end. Without understanding our past, we have no future. Without being able to discuss our differences in a civil manner, we can never live in peace. Yet there are many among us right now who will go to great lengths, often times violent and sickening lengths, to silence those with whom they disagree or destroy symbols of the past in an attempt to somehow right the wrongs of the past. This is toxic and causing many more problems than it is solving.
Like I said, this is a very condensed version of what these topics could be, and there will be much more on these topics to come in future episodes. I will also discuss some of this subject matter in an upcoming video for wilksopinion.com on our WilksWorld youtube channel. Please check out all our sites and content. Subscribe, share and leave us a review.
Ultimately, and above all things, be kind to one another, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and make each and every day the day that you want it to be…

Episode 10: Yes is Easy, but NO is the Right Answer

Welcome back my friends to the Derate the Hate podcast. Wilk here from WilksWorld.com with the 10th episode of our podcast. I cannot believe it’s been 10 weeks since we started this podcast. I want to express my sincere appreciation for all those who are supporting us and our podcast. If you would please, jump on a computer or laptop and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review, and of course, share us with your friends or whoever you may think would benefit!
OK, so in episode 10 I’m pointing out something that has been one of my greatest flaws as someone who tends to be a people pleaser. All too often, many of us find it easier to say YES when the answer really should be NO. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone asked you a favor, or to do something you really didn’t want to or didn’t have the time to do, but you said yes anyway, almost out of instinct. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Many of us find ourselves saying yes to things we should not simply because we don’t want to appear rude or confrontational, but saying NO is not rude, it is necessary in many situations…
Saying yes when we should have said no can lead to animosity, resentment and to some degree degrade our self-worth leading to one of the worst kinds of hate, self-hate. As an adult, we are responsible for our own happiness and as such have to take accountability for our actions. If we say yes to doing something that we should have said no to, we have taken what first appears to be the easy route but leads to worse consequences. This concept is also important in parenting where NO is often the correct answer but for the sake of ease we choose the easy YES and a prime parenting opportunity is lost to an emotional response where a logical solution was needed. This is something I personally have worked hard to correct in my life and hopefully something I say in this episode can steer you in the right direction.
In this weeks feel good story I talk about the young Tetreau sisters in Kelowna, B.C. who’s lemonade stand went missing under questionable circumstances and a stranger came to the rescue and built them a new one. This great story is about good people helping good people and we need more of this during the extraordinary and troubling times.
Until next week, I want to again express my deepest gratitude for the support and say thank you for listening and sharing. When you can get back out there, be kind to one another, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

#deratethehate

Episode 9: Delayed Gratification

Welcome back my friends to the Derate the Hate podcast. I am Wilk from WilksWorld.com and in this episode I am talking about the importance of Delayed Gratification. In a world of smart phones, 24 hour news cycles, any type of entertainment available at any time with the touch of a button, we’ve become conditioned to expect everything at a moments notice and if we don’t get it, we become frustrated and that frustration leads to a pattern of unhappiness. I give the example of growing up and waiting all week to sit on the floor with my cereal on Saturday morning and watching the cartoons, when we had a TV. This is a stark contrast to the kids nowadays that have YouTube and 24 hour cartoon channels. What do they really have to look forward to and can they really be happy without that sense of anticipation, (when it leads to something good they’ve been waiting for?). I think not, and while a person can only be disappointed by their own expectations, as individuals, we must learn to turn down the expectations, step back and appreciate that many of the good things in life take time.
My garden, and the idea of growing food from seeds is the best example in my life that exemplifies the idea of delayed gratification. At the time of this recording in mid-June, my garden is popping good, but requires much work and what keeps me going is knowing there will be large amounts of food for my family and I to enjoy in the coming year.
As I do each week, I like to feature a story that stands out to me as a feel good that contrasts all the doom and gloom stories that we see in most media. This week a talk about a gentlemen from the suburbs of Detroit named Jamie Lince that fixes up old or beat up bicycles and gives them to random strangers in Detroit who look like they could benefit from a good bike. He providing an example for his kids in which he want’s his kids to do good for other people. He’s trying to pass along the mindset to his children that just because people’s circumstances may be different, we should be doing good for all people. Like he says, “I just smile, smile and say I’m just a guy who wants to show you somebody cares- somebody who’s different from you cares. It’s not all about race and color, and not everybody sees color and that’s the main thing I want to show my children. There may be differences in finances and what people have, but that’s as far as it goes. I don’t want my kids to see color or see the hurt and hate in the world and that’s one way I can show it to them. I don’t have money to give people, but I have time and bikes.” Check out the article about Jamie and his Ricky Baggy bikes hobby here.
As always, when you get a chance to get out among the people, be kind to each other, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and make each and every day the day that you want it to be!
Thank you for listening, check us out and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Please leave a review for us on a desktop or laptop computer. Share us with your friends in any way you can, we greatly appreciate it. Until next week, thank you very much!

#deratethehate

Episode 8: Misery Loves Company

Welcome back my friends! Wilk from WilksWorld.com here with Episode 8 of the Derate the Hate podcast. We all know at least one person that has a complete inability to see the positive in anything, someone that has nothing positive to say and is always spreading negativity. In this episode I talk about how being positive in the initial part of any conversation can guide the way that conversation can go and the chain reaction effect of positivity or negativity in the people with which you may be interacting. Much like the financial principle that you are the average of the 5 people you associate with most, it is my opinion that you are incapable of being a happy and positive person if the people you associate with most are always negative and miserable. I have a sign in my office that says “3 ways to fail at everything in life” 1. Complain about everything 2. Never be grateful 3. Blame others for your problems. I contend that those who are constantly complaining about everything are both incapable of being happy and will always be a failure. One may have temporary successes such as athletes and movie stars and so forth, but if they are doing nothing but complaining, they are miserable people and are truly failures at life. Whether famous or not, someone who complains all the time is not someone to be around or they will bring you down with them…
Surround yourself whenever possible with positive people, those who have the ability to spread cheer and positivity rather than constant misery and negativity. If you don’t, soon you will be the one that is spreading nothing but misery, because as I’ve said, Misery Loves Company.
Whenever you get the opportunity to get out among the people, be kind to each other, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and remember that it’s up to you to make each day the day you want it to be!

#deratethehate

Episode 7: Misguided Anger Leads to Chaos

Wilk here from WilksWorld.com for another edition of the Derate The Hate podcast. This week we’ve seen terrible riots throughout the country as a result of the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis, MN at the hands of a bad cop. Though race has not been established as a motive, local politicians, doing what politicians do, instantly made it about race and bad actors from all over began taking to the streets. Are all cops racist, do we suffer from institutional racism? The politicians and media would have you believe so, but the facts do not support that narrative. But the media and the politicians, in an effort to whip up emotions take it there immediately and now in Minneapolis alone we’ve seen well in excess of a billion dollars in damages, businesses and lives destroyed, and outside influences who couldn’t care less about George Floyd are causing chaos all over the country. It has been my experience that there are bad actors in every walk of life, and the police are no exception. I do believe though that the vast majority of the approximately 850,000 law enforcement personnel in this country are good and are a very integral part of our civilized society. It has also been my experience that the vast majority of people don’t care about race, they just want to live their lives and see everyone get along. Race, to most people is not a determining factor in how they get along with each other in their day to day lives, but politicians and the media are always on the quick to interject it into everything. Don’t by the hype,
Just be kind to each other, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and make each and every day the day that you want it to be!!

#deratethehate

Episode 6: Yelling is Loss of Control

Welcome back my friends for Episode 6 of the Derate The Hate Podcast. Wilk here from WilksWorld.com and today I’m talking about yelling and more specifically, about the idea that yelling means you’ve already lost the argument. Lot’s of people talk about how yelling is ineffective and the damage that is done to the other person when it comes to yelling. Like many things I speak about, I look at the loss of control aspect of yelling and the idea that if we reach the point of yelling, we’ve lost self control, we’ve lost our ability to control our emotions and ultimately lost our ability to effectively use logic and reason to make our point. At this point it’s time to walk away and let things cool down before things are said that cannot be taken back. At a time when domestic violence calls are increasing daily due to the lock downs associated with the Covid-19 crisis, this episode might be something someone needs to hear to keep calm when things are getting a bit tense.
I also give a shout out to a family in Happy Valley, OR that went the extra mile to put flags on the graves of our brave men and women who were lost in battle, men and women who’s graves at Willamette National Cemetery could not be visited this Memorial Day due to the response to the Covid-19 crisis. That feel good story can be seen here.
Things are rough out there with the virus, the lock-downs and all the associated mental, physical and financial fallout associated with these battles. Just remember, we cannot control what happens to us, but we have to control how we react to it. When you can get out among each other again, be kind to one another, be grateful for everything you’ve got, and remember that it’s up to you to make each and every day the day you want it to be.

Special Edition: #FreedomShaming

Reasonable people can disagree on how the Covid-19 crisis has been handled so far, but irrational people often allow their emotions to dictate their actions. Far too often, especially lately, we see people becoming downright hostile to people of differing opinions when it comes to the way the Covid-19 crisis is being handled. Should we stay locked down, should we open everything back up? In this Special edition, (which is the audio from a video blog from wilksopion.com) Wilk goes into how differing opinions should not be mutually exclusive to one idea or the other and people longing for freedom should not be shamed for that state of mind. #FreedomShaming is not the way to go!!

Episode 5: You Made Me Mad!

Welcome back my friends! Wilk from WilksWorld.com here and in episode 5, I am talking about emotions and the importance of not allowing emotions to dictate our actions. Many years ago, my father and I were discussing some issues I was dealing with at the time. He said something that stuck with me from that point on but never fully understood until many years later when I first heard of Austrian Psychotherapist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl and his teachings that one cannot always control what happens to them, but they can control how they react to it (paraphrasing). Emotions can be a very tricky thing, and to truly be happy and to be someone that is pleasant for others to be around, my life experience has taught me that you must become the master of your emotions instead of allowing your emotions to dictate your actions. Nobody can “make” you do anything, and by conquering your emotions, you no longer allow the actions of others to be any kind of guiding principle on how you react. By becoming self-accountable, you become the master of your own domain, so to speak.
Please let us know what you think. Subscribe wherever you prefer to get your podcasts, and please leave a review. Look for us on Facebook by searching for Wilk’s World, or check out my blog at wilksopinion.com where I discuss different things a bit different than here.
Above all things, be kind to each other, be grateful every day for what you’ve got, and remember, it’s up to you to make each day what you want it to be.

Episode 4: Smiles and Bad Moods are Contagious

May 13, 2020
Wilk

Welcome back friends. Wilk here from Wilksworld.com for Episode 4 of the Derate the Hate podcast. With all that we are currently faced with as a nation and it’s people, it is very important to understand that it’s not only viruses that are contagious. A smile may be the difference in someone’s day, and your bad mood may be what ruins someone else’s. Smiles and bad moods are every bit as contagious, if not more so, than any virus or illness. Nobody wants to be around a toxic person, so it’s up to you not to be one.

Please let us know what you think. Subscribe wherever you prefer to get your podcasts, and please leave a review. Look for us on Facebook by searching for Wilk’s World, or check out my blog at wilksopinion.com where I discuss different things a bit different than here.

Above all things, be kind to each other, be grateful every day for what you’ve got, and remember, it’s up to you to make each day what you want it to be.

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