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What does it look like to turn the thing that nearly broke you into the very thing that sets others free?
In Episode 307 of Derate The Hate, Wilk Wilkinson sits down with Brandon Farbstein — Gen Z speaker, activist, author, and new member of the ProHuman Foundation Board of Advisors — for a conversation that is part origin story, part call to action, and entirely human.
Born with metatropic dysplasia (just 84 documented cases worldwide), Brandon grew up navigating stares, laughter, and isolation. By age 11, the weight of it all pushed him to a breaking point — he wanted to disappear.
What followed is the story you need to hear:
👉 Pain transformed into purpose.
👉 Isolation transformed into impact.
👉 A voice forged in adversity.
Brandon isn’t just telling a story — he’s living a mission.
By 18, he had:
✔️ Helped pass two Virginia laws (bullying prevention + empathy education)
✔️ Spoken on global stages like MDRT
✔️ Collaborated with Meta, LVMH, and Marriott
✔️ Become a Founding Partner of the Builders Movement
✔️ Earned recognition as a LinkedIn Top Voice
✔️ Received the ADL Hero Against Hate Award
📚 Author of:
Ten Feet Tall
A Kids Book About Self-Love (now in 80+ countries, Penguin Random House)
🧭 Now serving on the ProHuman Foundation Board of Advisors, advancing one core idea:
👉 See every person as a person. Full stop.
✔️ What “adaptation” really looks like living with one of the rarest conditions on earth
✔️ The age 11 breaking point that changed everything
✔️ Six therapists… and the one breakthrough that finally made him feel seen
✔️ The airport moment at 14 that led to a TEDx stage months later
✔️ Why a 15-year-old moved people in their 60s and 70s to tears
✔️ Self-love as a survival skill, not a slogan
✔️ The collision of two powerful ideas:
→ “Elevate Empathy”
→ “Your circle of influence doesn’t have to be the size of LA”
✔️ How YOU can step into the solution through the ProHuman Foundation
“People don’t need to know what it’s like in your shoes in order to relate to an experience or a sense of humanity.”
— Brandon Farbstein
“Your circle of influence doesn’t have to be the size of LA. Your circle of influence can be five people.”
— Wilk Wilkinson
“When we focus on being of service — even in small ways — that’s what transforms everything.”
— Brandon Farbstein
This isn’t just about overcoming adversity.
It’s about:
Agency over circumstance
Purpose born from pain
Choosing contribution over complaint
And in a world full of noise, outrage, and division…
👉 This is what it looks like to Derate The Hate.
🌐 Brandon Farbstein
https://brandonfarbstein.com
📖 Ten Feet Tall
Available wherever books are sold
📘 A Kids Book About Self-Love
Penguin Random House | 80+ countries
🤝 ProHuman Foundation
https://prohumanfoundation.org
💼 LinkedIn
https://linkedin.com/in/brandonfarbstein
You don’t need a massive platform.
You don’t need a perfect story.
👉 You just need to take one step forward.
Because the truth is simple:
The world changes one human at a time.
The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be!
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The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org
Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast!
*The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.
Transcript is AI generated & may contain errors
[00:00:00:00] Wilk Wilkinson: Quick question before we get going. What would you do if the world literally stared at you everywhere you went? Not metaphorically. Like actually stared. My guests today turned that reality into a movement. Stick with me. Welcome back, my friends, for the Derate the Hate podcast. I'm your host, Wilk Wilkinson, your blue collar sage calming outrage and helping to navigate a world divided by fog and those who would spread that fear, outrage and grievance. The Derate the Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels, America's largest grassroots cross. partisan organization working towards civic renewal. This podcast amplifies the mission that we share to foster a more respectful and united America where civic friendship thrives even when we disagree. Each week, through the power of story, conversation, and connection with incredible guests, we work to build bridges instead of barriers, not to change minds on the issues, but to change how we see one another when we differ. Because friends, it really is about bettering the world one attitude at a time. We did not create the hate, but together we can Derate the Hate. So be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Share it with a friend and visit BraverAngels.org to learn how you can get involved in the movement to bridge the partisan divide. Friends, I am so incredibly grateful that you have joined me for another powerful Derate the Hate episode. So let's get to it. I'm so excited to bring you today's guest. Brandon Farber. Stein is a Gen Z powerhouse, and I don't use that word lightly. He's a speaker, an activist, an author, and someone who has taken some of the most painful chapters of his life and turned them into a mission that is literally changing how the world sees itself. Brandon was born with an incredibly rare form of dwarfism, one of only 84 documented cases in history. And growing up, that difference was a source of real pain, bullying, isolation. He'll tell you himself. By the time he was 11 years old, he just wanted to disappear. But what happened next is where the story gets remarkable, because Brandon didn't just survive that. He transformed it into a Ted talk at 15 years old, into legislation, into books, into stages, in front of thousands of leaders around the world and into a message called Elevate Empathy that he carries everywhere he goes. I'm especially proud to share that Brandon has recently joined the Pro Human Foundation Board of Advisors, which tells you everything you need to know about the kind of human being that Brandon really is. This conversation is about acceptance, about finding your voice, about what it really means to use your story, whatever your story is, to make the world a little bit better. I think you're gonna love this one, folks. Let's get into it with my friend Brandon Farb. Stein. Here we go. Brandon Farbstein, welcome to the Derate The Hate podcast. It's good to see you today, my friend.
[00:03:55:16] Brandon Farbstein: Thank you, Wilk, great to be here.
[00:03:58:21] Wilk Wilkinson: Yeah, it is great to see you. This episode is going to be another one of the great pro Human foundation Board of Advisors series. I know, not long ago, Brandon, you join that, board of advisors, and that gave me an opportunity to learn a bit about you and, looking into your background and and seeing all the things that you've done has been just wonderful. It's been an inspiration for me. So, what I want to do is I want to start off by introducing the, Derate the Hate listeners to, to who You are Brandon Farbstein, and a bit about your story. So let's just start with, you you were you were born with an extremely rare form of dwarfism. Yeah. So let's let's start there right from the beginning. Tell me about what that was. You know, for you growing up. And then how that started to manifest into where you are today.
[00:05:05:18] Brandon Farbstein: So to put a little bit more color for those that might be listening, I am three foot nine. I think that's just over one meter, like 1.1m for everyone outside of the US. And it's an understatement just to say that it's extremely rare because there are only 84 cases ever reported of my condition. So when you think about, like some of truly the rarest conditions in history, I guess I get to be one of the lucky ones that has a condition where most of the answers are not known. There isn't really much of a roadmap, there isn't too much research because it's still pretty new, newly discovered. And so what that has translated into is a life of uncertainty and really hating how different I was for the first half of my life. So much so that I remember in particular, when I was 11 years old, I reached a point that I just thought there was no purpose in me being here anymore, or being me being in my body, and I wanted to disappear. I wanted things to just end and I think I really had to get to that point to then realize I couldn't burden this sense of life alone. And I needed help. And maybe it took me reaching that, that point of being desperate for help and a way out of this sense of a deep, dark hole that I was in that I couldn't escape from, but that really was life changing, because at that point, I started therapy and counseling, took about six different therapists to find one that I was finally comfortable around and felt validated and seen and heard by. And I just felt like I had this weight lifted off of my shoulders for the first time in my life. And that was really the point that I started to realize I can't choose what happens to me. I can't the way that people react to the pointing, the steering, the laughter, etc. I can't change any of that. But what I could always do is choose my thoughts. That's right. And through therapy, I began to get this sense of agency in my life. And I really think that was the catalyst to then make me realize this is a gift. This is something that I could use to help other people. And I don't think I quite discovered at that early age of like 11, 12, 13 when I was really getting into the the real work of therapy. But that's when I started to change my perspective on things.
[00:08:14:20] Wilk Wilkinson: Very nice. So, so just just for my clarification and, and so the listeners know, what about your form of dwarfism I guess. What about that makes it so rare? Because, I mean, I think, a lot of people have either encountered, or known or at least very, at the very least seen other peoples who have who've been born with some form of dwarfism What about your. And then I want to get into the whole mindset shift that you, you experience there, Brandon, because I think that's hugely important. But but just just to, just to kind of deepen the, the rarity of your particular, form of dwarfism. What what makes that so rare?
[00:09:07:01] Brandon Farbstein: Quite frankly, there are over 200 individual types of dwarfism. So a lot of people don't know that fact to begin with, that it's not just one condition, it's actually over 200. And each of them come with their own symptoms and characteristics and problems, etc.. So with mine, I am in a lot of ways very fortunate and blessed that I have a pretty mild to moderate form of the condition, because those that are born with more of a severe end of the spectrum of my condition, what's called, which is called met atrophic dysplasia. If anybody is interested in looking it up, okay, they normally those that that have a severe form normally pass away before the age of five because their spine is essentially not able to support their body. And so just it comes with a lot of other, respiratory complications and things that, those that have a severe form versus kind of where I'm at in my health journey, quite a bit different. I deal with mostly arthritis and joint problems. And so it is a degenerative condition. And I have noticed as I get older, my bones get stiffer and it be becoming more and more difficult for me to do the things that were once a lot easier, like walking up and down stairs, sure. But life for me has always been about adaptation, and that is going to be the constant. And in a lot of ways, I think we could all relate to that too.
[00:10:51:03] Wilk Wilkinson: I think we all can, and I think it's a very important point. And that's exactly what I want to get into. How we, I guess, how we adapt as, as human beings to, to different things, and how we adapt to situations that are outside of our control and finding that acceptance. One of the things that struck me about what you were saying is, you know, you kind of had to get to the bottom. And at 11 years old, you just wanted to wanted to disappear. You just didn't even feel like this world had a place for you with the body that you were given. And and the people, the pointing, the steering, the different things. And and I tell you what, Brandon, I've talked to a lot of people on this podcast who and I'm sorry I got got goosebumps right now, but I've talked to a lot of people on this podcast that have been bullied. I mean, I personally for, for, a few years of my life was kind of bullied incessantly and the, the toll that it takes on a, on a child and that, that everlasting thing. I'm 50 years old now and, and I still, you know, have vivid memories of some of those things that happened. And I've talked to people like Madonna, Hannah who, who has a has a beautiful story and she says, Thank God I was bullied because it made her into the person that she's become as an adult. But one of the things that you said, that it gave you a way to get here and start helping other people to to work through the things that they can't control and, and, and, and things not only not only the physical conditions and the things that you're dealing with as a result of, of, of your, your condition itself. But how other people around you relate. So talk to me about how you've taken that gift in a sense, and turned it into something where you now get the help. And by right, I mean millions of people have heard, you know, who you are, what you do, your particular story. And and now people can take that and and use it to, to make their life better. So talk to me about that transition from kind of this, this painful, ugly thing that was eating you to something that you have now determined is a gift that you get to give to the world.
[00:13:26:05] Brandon Farbstein: This is a really cool origin story that I always have, a lot of enjoyment telling. I was in the airport with my family when I was probably about 14 years old, and we were just going on a trip to visit relatives. Nothing to, to big, but I was on my mobility device, which at the time was this very epic, badass kind of transformer looking, segway like a version variation of a Segway. And it was bright yellow. It drew a lot of attention. So I was used to people asking questions and being very intrigued by it, and I had no problem with that. So I was in line for TSA, and I remember a woman coming up to me and started asking me all these questions. Wow, what is this device? What do you use it for? Do you have a condition? What's your name? Just being very inquisitive. Not in a creepy way, but you could tell she was super curious and that conversation probably lasted for only about 3 or 4 minutes. And then I thought that was the end of it. But she ended up being on our flight, so we reconnected at the gate and spoke for another probably 40, 45 minutes, and she asked me more questions about myself. But what I was so intrigued by was her saying, I'm one of the original organizers of TEDx X, so I believe she was number three, or one of the first five in the world to produce a Ted event like Ted talks, and I always would watch those talks after school with my mom. And I remember about six months prior to meeting that woman, I had said to her, how cool would it be one day to share my story on that platform? Just being one of those things that you kind of say, never really thinking it's going to be a possibility or reality. And then this woman, Haley, said, have you ever thought about sharing your story? And I was like, yeah, I have. I would love to. And about four months later, she introduced me to, local TEDx event, and I was in front of about 2000 people for the first time, being Brandon being real in terms of just sharing a glimpse into my life and my journey. And it was only six minutes, but those six minutes gave me, I think, a foundation and a glimpse into the rest of my life, because it was then that I saw this sense of purpose and mission that was born right in front of me, because I was having people in their 60s and 70s. Mind you, I was 15 years old, and these folks were coming up with tears in their eyes saying, I was bullied as a kid or I've always wanted to have the courage to share my truth or thank you so much for speaking to something that I've never been able to put words to. And as a literally, as a freshman in high school, my mind was completely blown because that was the first time in my life that I think I really discovered. People don't know. People don't need to know what it's like in your shoes in order to relate to an experience or a sense of humanity. And that was just so earth shattering in the best way for me. And at that point I was like, okay, this makes sense. I know exactly why God, why the universe put me here. And this is the mission that I'm going to set.
[00:17:18:15] Wilk Wilkinson: So that is so cool. That is so cool. And, and to to to hear about how you and your, your mom would watch the, the Ted conferences or the Ted talks and, and then, you know, this this reminds me of a line my uncle often says to me and, and, he says there are no coincidence, there are no coincidences. They're just gifts from God where he chooses to remain anonymous and, yes, that is one of those things again, where you know, you are you are in a position to provide incredible insight in incredible wisdom, especially even as a, as a, as a very young man, to, to the world. And then all of a sudden you're presented with that conduit to make it happen in, in just kind of an unlikely place, an unlikely scenario, out of all the things that that could have happened in the world. Right. I mean, you think about out of all the out of all the human beings in the world, you were a one of 84 that has has this particular form of, of dwarfism to that affect is, is affecting your life and will forever. And then you out of all the people on the planet and everybody that was flying out of that airport on that day, being next to, next to Hailey, incredible. Absolutely incredible. Again, a, a gift from God that, in which he chooses to remain anonymous. Brandon, talk to me about the, the not feeling seen thing, because as kids, I mean, one of the well, one of the biggest problems I think we face in society today and one of the one of the reasons so many people just end up feeling so disconnected and so distraught and so angry at the world is because they don't feel seen. They don't feel heard, they don't they. And internally, they don't feel like they have purpose. So which is an A, which is another thing that we can get into. But, but the feeling, seeing the feeling heard the feeling like you don't have a place in the world. Yeah. This is one of the things that you, you bring to not only kids that are being bullied, but like you said, this is a message that resonates with people of all ages.
[00:19:48:18] Brandon Farbstein: Absolutely. And I think the powerful thing is sometimes you have to, physically see somebody or hear about their experience firsthand where they're in a container where they've experienced maybe similar things to you, but also a completely different set of issues and experiences. But you have to see how they've done it to be able to recognize it in yourself that, wow, I've overcome so much. I've had to, be incredibly resilient. I've had to be my biggest advocate. And that's literally the case for every single one of us. And the moment that I was able to say to myself, I'm able to use what I've been given and do something with it, that gave me a sense of power that I never had ever in my life. And while you don't need to relate to having some rare condition or a disability or feeling different, I bet you relate to, feeling unworthy at times, feeling not enough, feeling not lovable. And that's kind of what it means to be a human being. And the more that we can acknowledge that, not even in like, a woo woo, inspirational, feel good kind of way, where it just goes in one ear and out the other, but in a way where it awakens something within you to say, I can do this too. And I just think that is in a lot of ways, why we are put on this earth to use what we've been given and what we've been through, and share it with other people. You don't need to be a motivational speaker. You don't need to be an author or any of these things. Like, all you need to do is be you and share your gifts and talents with those around you and with the world. And in my experience, it is just the most exhilarating, freeing feeling as well to know that you are fulfilling that.
[00:22:04:20] Wilk Wilkinson: No. That's right. It is. And yeah, just having a story, being your authentic you and then being, you know, willing to share that story and, not everybody's gonna end up being, the type of person that wants to be on a stage in front of thousands. But one of the things that I always like to say is, your circle of influence doesn't have to be the size of LA. Your circle of influence can be, five people. But just just take your story, be your authentic you and be the change that you want to see and see how that branches out. I think that's an absolutely. You know, when we think about kids, and one of the things that that, one of the, you know, you got a book out for, for kids about self-love. I've talked to a number of people on the podcast and another, another concept, I think is, is often loft, lost on a lot of people is the concept of self-love and how important it is. Yeah. You know, how we think about how we think about ourselves and how that translates into how we treat other people and and things like that. So so let's talk about that, that the kids book brand and, a kid's book about self-love, and then, and then let's, let's roll up to the, to the big one ten feet tall.
[00:23:24:22] Brandon Farbstein: To be honest with you, I kind of feel like it's the other way around. And I'll get into that after. But the kid's book came about during the pandemic at a time where I was really stagnant, as I'm sure many of us can relate to, as well. And I kept asking myself, what am I supposed to be doing right now? Like, I felt like I was having no impact in the world, and that was very much dulling my own light. And I went back to the period that I needed help the most, which is when I was a young kid and I was really starting to form this sense of identity and image and self-worth and recognizing that if somebody introduced the concept of seeing the awesomeness that exists inside of me and start to develop that, I'm not saying it would have acted as a shield to block all the horrible things that I eventually went through as a teenager and as a child, but at the same time, a equips you with the ability to not be so derailed when those things happen. And so I worked with an amazing publisher called a Kids Co, a kids company, and they've released some amazing titles all around topics that you normally wouldn't think about talking to kids about, from mental health to divorce. I think they have a book about war, these very heavy topics in a lot of ways. But at the same time, it's the real world. It's the reality, and you are introducing it to kids in a way where you're not watering it down, but you're meeting them at their level and self-love, just like you said. Well, it's one of those concepts that it isn't really talked about. It's not taught. I think it's starting to become a little bit more common, but if you don't have it to begin with as a parent, how are you then going to instill it in your kid?
[00:25:49:12] Wilk Wilkinson: That's right.
[00:25:50:13] Brandon Farbstein: So I think in a lot of ways, yes, it's aimed towards young people. The ideal ages are like 5 to 12, but I've heard from adults from all over the world that have read the book, either with their students, with their kiddos, and they said they needed the book as much as the kids did, because it's a reminder that, number one, we all have things that make us unique and that make us different. And as kind of cliche as it sounds, that's okay. It doesn't make us any less than. And for a kid who's experiencing, again, whether it's a physical difference or they have a household that is unlike the other, families in their school, any of these things that can make us feel othered, it just gives a sense of, I can get through life and be okay. That's right. And to know that I was that kid who needed this message and that I now get to, provide it all over the world, it recently got republished by Penguin Random House, which is really cool. And so it's in, I believe, over 80 countries. And, it's just been very full circle in a lot of ways, too. So I'm, I'm grateful to have brought that project out.
[00:27:17:16] Wilk Wilkinson: Yeah. And I'm grateful you did, too. I mean, and just just that, that part. And I want to key on, on that one thing, it's it's not just the kids that, you know, have some physical difference or, some whatever, but but just being and understanding that just because you don't have what somebody else has doesn't make you. worth less. And I don't mean worthless, but worth less. Yeah. And and and then keen on and this kind of goes to the pro human foundation thing. The fact that we are all unique to who we are as individuals, we're all unique human beings that brings something special into this world. If we didn't, I don't think we would be here, you know, I mean, if you think about all the different things that have had to happen throughout the history of, of, of this planet and human beings and animals and everything else, for you to be here is so unique for me to be here is so unique and so unlikely. From a mathematical perspective, I saw something the other day. I don't even pretend to get into the numbers, but it is astronomical. The chances that you are sitting there and I am sitting here, I.
[00:28:34:07] Brandon Farbstein: Think it's like 1 in 400,000,000,000,000 that. Yeah, was the chance of you being born and like, that's not some crazy. And I'm like, that's that's the literal math. And it's just insane to think about that. So I'm glad that you're bringing that up because it's it's just a reminder. I think for us all, the fact that we are here day after day, I don't think that's a mistake. And no matter what you believe in terms of spirituality or faith or I really think there has to be a higher power saying each and every one of us that is on this earth, we have a mission to fulfill. And there are some days that we get to be human and and sit in bed and have self-care days where we're just focusing on ourselves. And that's okay. But I think when we step out of whatever we're going through, and I really speak from experience when I say this and we could focus on how we can be of service doesn't have to be in some grandeur way. But that has really transformed my life.
[00:29:41:14] Wilk Wilkinson: Yeah. And and transformed my life as well. Brandon, because doing this what I do with this podcast and and the work that I do with Braver Angels and the advising that I do with the pro human Foundation being of service to our fellow human beings is, I mean, this world that we live in. Brandon, you can attest to this as much as anybody. The world that we live in has all of these ugly things that are outside of our control. And we really, we really need people to find their voice and be a part of the solution because so many of these things are fixable, especially if we attack them at a, at a, at a, a level greater than just ourselves. But every group starts with one person, one voice coming together, sharing your story, being a part of the solution to bigger problems that we have and people. And like I said this, you can attest to this more than anybody or as much as anybody is. There are so many people out there and you've met them and I've met them that they say, oh, what can I do? You know, I'm just I'm just me. I'm just me. I've got I've got no story, which we know is not true. Everybody's got a story. You know, I've got no I don't have a big platform. I don't have this, I don't have that. They find all the reasons that stand in the way. But really all it takes is starting to step forward a little bit at a time. And, and it's amazing how big of a difference that everybody, each and everybody can make when it comes to being part of the solution. Rather than being part of the problem. Let's round out our time with that branding, because I want to get your thoughts on that. There's so many out there that they just maybe they don't know what their purpose is. They don't know what their place in this world is, all of those different things. But the reality is, is everybody can do something 1,000%.
[00:31:41:13] Brandon Farbstein: And I think at a time like now where there's never been so much divisiveness, polarization, in my opinion, just toxicity, the yelling and not being able to, even have a dialog with somebody if they fundamentally disagree with you. How sad is that? And so it takes us back to what can we do being an individual person in so much noise? Well, I think joining us at the ProHuman Foundation is an amazing solution because we have whether it's programs on the educational front, it's action steps, it's equipping yourself with resources to be able to say, what can I actually do to see my fellow person and to not feed into this culture where it's honestly this cycle of negativity and loudness that gets nowhere because we're not able to have constructive dialog. And so the pro Human foundation, we are all about seeing each and every individual as a person. And as kind of simple as that sounds, it's so needed, right now and as, newly, newly joined board of advisor member. No, we would really love to have you be a part of our mission as well.
[00:33:07:07] Wilk Wilkinson: Very good. Brandon Farbstein, It's been an incredible, incredible conversation. I have loved it. And, I look forward to many more in the future. We will get all of your, information in the show notes, but it's Brandon Farbstein.com and, couple couple great books there, speaking events, different things you can find. And, Brandon, I've seen. It's been a pleasure, my friend.
[00:33:29:01] Brandon Farbstein: It's been a lot of fun. Thanks Wilk.
[00:33:32:01] Wilk Wilkinson:
Friends, I want to thank you so much for tuning in. And if there's anything in this episode that provided exceptional value to you, please make sure to hit that share button. If you haven't done so already, please be sure to subscribe to get the Derate the Hate podcast sent to your email inbox every week. We really are better together, so please take a moment to visit BraverAngels.org and consider joining the movement towards civic renewal and bridging our political divides. This is Wilk wrapping up for the week saying get out there. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you've got. And remember, it's up to you to make every day the day that you want it to be. With that, my friends, I'm going to back on out of here and we will catch you next week. Take Care
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